Actual Classified Ads

AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.
FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART DOG
TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT'S OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.
FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR. WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50
NORDIC TRACK $300. HARDLY USED. CALL CHUBBIE
SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE.. BETTER BE REWARD.
HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER. "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
GEORGIA PEACHES - CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT -- $15
FREE PUPPIES: 50% COCKER SPANIEL - 50% SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME.
NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE. SLIGHTLY STAINED
AMERICAN FLAG 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED. $100
TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.
NOTICE:
TO THE PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK THE LARGE PUMPKIN ON HIGHWAY 87 NEAR SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE: PLEASE RETURN THE PUMPKIN AND BE CHECKED. PUMPKIN MAY BE RADIOACTIVE. ALL OTHER PLANTS IN VICINITY ARE DEAD.
GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.
OPEN HOUSE BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN - $2.09 lb.
OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000

Home   Jokes
This page created and maintained by Chad Schultz, ©1999.
Last updated April 2, 1999
Created with HotDog Pro 3.
From: Funny-Bone join-funny-bone@lists.spunge.org