Q: What's long and hard on a Kentucky football player?
A: First grade!
Q: Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Kentucky State Lottery?
A: The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
Q: Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to Eastern Kentucky?
A: Everyone has the same DNA.
Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Frankfort, Kentucky burned down?
A: Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.
A new law recently passed in Eastern Kentucky: When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
Q: What's the best thing to ever come out of Kentucky?
Two Kentuckians are walking down different ends of a street one says,
"Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"
"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
"OK. Ummmmm . . . five?"
Q: What do a divorce in Eastern Kentucky, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
A: Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.
A Kentuckian came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Say, don't you still have those big red trucks?"
Q: Why do folks in Eastern Kentucky go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
A: 'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.
Q: What do you get when you have 32 Eastern Kentuckians in the same room?
A: A full set of teeth.