Wisdom From Senior Citizens

1. I started with nothing. I still have most of it.
2. When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?
3. I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
5. If all is not lost, where is it?
6. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
7. The first rule of holes: if you are in one, stop digging.
8. I tried to get a life once, but they told me they were out of stock.
9. A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.
10. I wish the buck stopped here! I could use a few.
11. It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
13. Living on Earth is expensive, But it does include a trip around the sun.
14. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
15. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.
16. Never knock on death's door, ring the bell and run (he hates that).
17. When you are finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?
18. If you are living on the edge, make sure you are wearing your seatbelt.