Warranty registration for McDonnell Douglas

This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of course, does not have a sense of humor - and made the web department take it down immediately. (In case you don't know: McDonnell Douglas is one of the world's chief suppliers of military aircraft).

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

Mr. Mrs. Ms. Miss Lt. Gen.
First Name: Initial: Last Name:
Password: (max 8 char)
Code Name:
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude:
Which model aircraft did you purchase?
F-14 Tomcat
F-15 Eagle
F-16 Falcon
F-117A Stealth
Classified
Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): //
Serial Number:
Please check where this product was purchased:
Received as gift/aid package
Catalog showroom
Independent arms broker
Mail order
Discount store
Government surplus
Classified
Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased: Heard loud noise, looked up
Store display
Espionage
Recommended by friend/relative/ally
Political lobbying by manufacturer
Was attacked by one
Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product: Style/appearance
Speed/maneuverability
Price/value
Comfort/convenience
Kickback/bribe
Recommended by salesperson
McDonnell Douglas reputation
Advanced Weapons System
Backroom politics
Negative experience opposing one in combat
Please check the location(s) where this product will be used: North America
Iraq
Central/South America
Iraq
Aircraft carrier
Iraq
Europe
Iraq
Middle East (not Iraq)
Iraq
Africa
Iraq
Asia/Far East
Iraq
Misc. Third World countries
Iraq
Classified
Iraq
Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future: Color TV
VCR
ICBM
Killer Satellite
CD Player
Air-to-Air Missiles
Space Shuttle
Home Computer
Nuclear Weapon
Toaster Oven
Flame-Thrower/Grenade Launcher
How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that apply:) Communist/Socialist
Terrorist
Twinkie-crazed
Neutral
Democratic
Dictatorship
Corrupt
Primitive/Tribal
Deficit spending/"black" programs
Cash
Suitcases of cocaine
Oil revenues
Personal check
IMF Loan
Credit card
Ransom money
Traveler's check
UN Aid Program
World Bank Loan
Your occupation: Homemaker
Sales/marketing
Revolutionary
Clerical
Mercenary
Tyrant
Middle management
Eccentric billionaire
Defense Minister/General
Retired
Student
To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis: Golf
Boating/Sailing
Sabotage
Running/jogging
Propaganda/disinformation
Destabilization/overthrow
Default on loans
Gardening
Crafts
Black market/smuggling
Collectibles/collections
Watching sports on TV
Wines
Interogation/torture
Household pets
Crushing rebellions
Espionage/reconnaissance
Fashion clothing
Border disputes
Mutually Assured Distruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division

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