Top ten signs you have a cheap HMO plan

10. Directions to the doctor's office include "take a left when you enter the trailer park."
9. When you enter the office, you see a dispenser with the sign "PLEASE TAKE A NUMBER."
8. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
7. The only psychiatrist in the plan is nicknamed "Joe the Bartender."
6. The only item listed under Preventive Care feature of coverage is "an apple a day."
5. Your "primary care physician" is wearing pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
4. "Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a misprint.
3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
2. Your pills come in different colors with "M"s on them.

and the number one sign you've joined a cheap HMO....

1. Prescription for anti-depressant medication: A coupon for a double espresso at Starbucks.

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This page created and maintained by Chad Schultz, ©1999.
Last updated April 29, 1999.
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