I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.
I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You will ever be.
I lift my leg and
Anoint each bush. Hello, Spot -
Sniff this and weep.
My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I
Have made a puddle.
Behold my choke chain -
Look, world, they strangle me!
Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!
Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot -no greater bliss -
Well, maybe catching cats. . .
Dig under fence-why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.
How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.
I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.
Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you so much.