Dog Haiku

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy - come to kill us all -
Look! Look! Look! Look!

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You will ever be.

I lift my leg and
Anoint each bush. Hello, Spot -
Sniff this and weep.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I
Have made a puddle.

Behold my choke chain -
Look, world, they strangle me!
Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot -no greater bliss -
Well, maybe catching cats. . .

Dig under fence-why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you so much.

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This page created and maintained by Chad Schultz, ©1999.
Last updated April 23, 1999.
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From: Funny-Bone