50 above
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Michigan people sunbathe.
40 above
Italian cars won't start.
Michigan people drive with the windows down.
32 above
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Michigan's water gets thicker.
20 above
Floridians wear coats, gloves and woolly hats.
Michigan people throw on a sweatshirt
15 above
New York landlords finally turn up the heat...
Michigan people have the last cook-out before it gets cold.
- 0 -
People in Miami cease to exist..
Michigan people lick the flagpole.
20 below
Californians fly away to Mexico.
Michigan people get out their winter coats.
40 below
Hollywood disintegrates.
Michigan's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
60 below
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic.
Michigan's Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
80 below
Mt. St. Helen's freezes.
Michigan people rent some videos.
100 below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michigan people get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
297 below
Microbial life survives on dairy products.
Michigan cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 below
ALL atomic motion stops.
Michigan people start saying...."Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 below
Hell freezes over.
The Detroit Lions win the Super Bowl.