Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPN's home page to your bookmarks.
You have a "to do list" that includes entries for lunch and bathroom breaks and they are usually the ones that never get crossed off.
You have actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents.
Pick up lines now include a reference to liquid assets and capital gains.
You consider 2nd day air delivery painfully slow.
You assume the question to valet park or not is rhetorical.
You refer to your dining room table as the flat filing cabinet.
Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.
Your grocery list has been on your refrigerator so long some of the products don't even exist any more.
You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their process.
You get all excited when it's Saturday and you can wear sweats to work.
You refer to the tomatoes grown in your garden as deliverables.
You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.
You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.
You think that "progressing an action plan" and "calendarizing a project" are acceptable English phrases.
You know the people at the airport hotels better than your next door neighbors.
You ask your friends to "think out of the box" when making Friday night plans.
You think Einstein would have been more effective had he put his ideas into a matrix.
You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock.
You try to enter your password on the microwave.
You now think of three espressos as "getting wasted."
You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
You e-mail your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he e-mails you back "What's for dinner?"
Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
You didn't give your Valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your e-mail buddies via a Web page.
Your daughter just bought on CD all the records your college roommate used to play that you most despised.
Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the bottom of the screen.
You buy a computer and a month later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.
The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you.
You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.
You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.
You hit the wrong button when you're in the elevator and start shouting "Undo! Undo!" at the stupid panel.